-
It's been a peak silicon valley year for me and I'm thinking about interviews again and how they're ridiculous and I'm feeling saucy so here we go:Permalink On twitter.com
♻️ 13 Retweets ❤️ 108 Favorites 2019 Dec 24 Mood -2 🙁
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "Here's an arbitrary question that has no bearings on how you'll do at our company, but I think it's a hard problem, so solve it because I optimize for my own ego"Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Me: "That's ok, this company is funded by a group of professional gamblers who just need to strike it rich once to be considered good at their jobs and thus it doesn't matter how good of a job anybody does here as long as the gamblers still have good feelings."Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "What kind of work do you like to do?" Me: "What's the rubric for this question? What can I tell you here to make you satisfied? Will you not hire me because I like something you find boring orrr?"Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "Why do you want to work here?" Me: "Because I have a mortgage and a family and live in a city that jumps in price a noticeable amount every year and it turns out that I'm not from a wealthy family and also I've done some real shitty jobs and this is better"On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "Why should we hire you?" Me: "It's good to hire me because: A) I'm not bored easily B) I had protestant work ethic beat into my head as a child so I attach my self worth to how well I perform the position you hired me for"Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Me: "Good thing I read this book of arbitrary problems that have made their way into the standard lib of any programming language that anybody would pay me to write."Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "We're a dynamic company that changes to the market demands" Me: "Y'all don't have an Engineering roadmap do you?" Interviewer: "We do, it involves A, B, and C" Me: "How much of that overlaps with the Product roadmap?" Interviewer: "The what?"Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Interviewer: "Our Engineers work closely with our Product team" Me: "Oh cool. Like, while they're creating a spec?" Int: "A what? No that's not _agile_. Specs are not _agile_. We are very _agile_" Me: "How... which data do you use to prioritize what to work on?" Int: "..."Permalink On twitter.com
-
…in reply to @jefflembeck
Me: "Why are you hiring?" Interviewer: "We're growing" Me: "Why?" Int: "We want to make more things faster" Me: "How much?" Int: "We hope to triple size in the next three months" Me: "..." Int: "..." Me: "Have you thought about sustainable growth?" Int: "We're VC funded"Permalink On twitter.com